Stoned

the caption of the video read:


  "The young girl in this video was sentenced to death by an Islamic Court because she did not want to marry an old man the family arranged for her. This is not Al Qaeda or the Taliban, but Muslims following SHARIA LAW!"


It was the most disturbing thing I saw, next to some terrorists chop off some captive's head few years ago.. 


the video today was of a woman getting stoned 'til death.  Kicked while she screamed for her dear life.. ending it by dropping a big cement block on her head... leaving her on a puddle of blood! it's way too disturbing to embed on the blog, coz I never want to see that ever again..


Now, the reasons stated on the email for such punishment could be far from the truth, but no one deserve to be stoned and kicked to death... regardless of the race or religion!


I petty you, whoever you are, who did that to her.. dogs! you will never know what awaits on the other side.. I hope the girl is in a better place now~

The Perfect Man

he's quiet..

he's sweet...

and if he gives you any grief, you can bite his head off!

royal pains

I have mixed feelings about the whole royal engagement story :P

I may be a bit sad now that Will is unavailable.  did i secretly think i had a chance? delusional much? o_O  but hey, KM's no match for Diana imo (like anyone'd care?).
hope that bling isn't cursed in anyway..

As he grew older though, he became less good looking.. but Harry on the other hand, got cuter ha!
I still have a chance there..

on second thoughts, I don't think I want to be related to the HRHs. too pompous for my liking :P.

snowiee white

go away

you white piece of sheet

you weren't due for another month

beautiful out nevertheless..

wear your rubber boots out babies

when I wish I carried my point n shoot with me..

or sit by the fireplace, good book, and a hot chocolate!

Death of an Unknown

I knew you, knew of you
but didn't know you well enough..
never saw you in flesh and blood
but saw your soul within
imperfect you must have been,
but Perfect I knew you as..

today I hear that you are gone
gone forever..
I'm saddened of your departure
speechless for once..

I wish I knew you more, I really do..
vain words they may be now,
but sorry I didn't say hello,
nor wrote two words to see how you were..

thank you for making me smile and laugh

thank you for touching my heart.. n soul

numerous times, with a phone call from seas away..

You my friend, will always be remembered

wrapped in a corner of my heart..

may you Rest In Peace

Interrupt FarmVille, I kill You

Alexandra V. Tobias, a 22-year-old mother from Jacksonville, FL, plead guilty to second degree murder in the death of her three-month-old son. She was angry because her child was crying while she was playing FarmVille on her computer.

Tobias says she shook her baby while angry, then smoked a cigarette to calm herself down before shaking him again. The baby may or may not have hit his head on the computer while she was shaking him.


Read story here

Screams: What.is.wrong.with.this.world?

beautiful people

looking good, being beautiful is very relative..

but..

do beautiful people get their way or find life relatively easier day-to-day...? do they sometimes get things done, go places, just because they look good.  first impressions definitely do count .. don't they? before even one start to speak..

this may well be just natural to them, the pretty bunch, in a not very obvious way.. and they wouldn't know any different? or perhaps they do know it, and abuse it?

and the not so beautiful people have to work that much harder?

makes me wonder.

beating myself up

for literally overlooking Guns, Germs, and Steel...

Itch of knowledge

i confess, i have an itch to learn..learn something.. i wish it was the travel bug instead. well i'm almost always bitten by the travel bug but the time and money factors push the itch further and further away. gah it's another post. 

anyhoo, i've been itching to take more classes given the opportunity, and i finally found something i thought interested me..  lucky enough it really does interest me, and i like going to class (questionable?). quite thought provoking, current and relevant. a while back I thought this is the last of it, you get some bs under your belt and be done with it.. argh i'm back to square one, with assignments and midterms etc etc. don't get me wrong my dear blog, I like the learning bit, but hate the rest of the garbage that comes along with the itch.  and gosh darn it I hate exams.. almost my whole weekend was spent reading. =S i'm becoming one of those.. eek!

i'm nearing a mid-term hence the rant..

Spread some Love

roughly one sixth of the humanity (~1 billion people) lives in extreme poverty, and struggles daily for survival..

act now...

Trust in me

as I sat on an aesthetic chair at the Indian salon to get my eyebrows done, I thought of how much "Trust" I have on people I encounter every day. You just sit there trusting that she wouldn't completely wax/thread away so that you look alienish.

How much trust we have on people? and why do we do that?

from hair cuts, to sitting on a plane trusting your life with the kitkat eating pilots, to jumping off a stage hoping that the audience would catch you without breaking your bones, to telling your dirty little secrets to friends or confidantes you think you can trust.. what if things fall through? Do we trust them, coz we think they are good at what they do? or we think they love us, and your chummy friend will not spill a word to your worst enemy? or how and why would you trust whatever they say about themselves or the other? they could be easily lying through their teeth.. and then, why do we sometimes feel that you can trust your life with someone?

Obviously there are levels of trust. at least I do. You can pinky promise and swear on things, hoping the other would trust you and believe you.. but why would they? it would only take a second to break that trust and hurt them..  and once that trust is broken, could that be mended again? ever? is that promising never to lie again..?

Is trust what build relationships.. is that us hoping that people care or love us.. quite honestly, I don't know.

beats me.

image credit: http://www.loveamourlove.com/LoveArticles/Jealousy_Infidelity_Other_Love_Problems/qlyg1.html

The Town of Social Network

now see October is supposed to be rainy, wet, and colder.  September ended with a bang of sunshine and it pushed it into the start of October as well.  more golfing and last minute camping trips for those who want to use the last bit of warm enough sunshine that we'd get for a while..  alas rain awaits us in about a week or so, and I'll be balling then. wait for it.

nothing much has been new except that I saw two movies last weekend. The Town, for one.. It was alright, or may be good.  Ben Affleck can actually be forgiven for gigli for his bank robber role in Town. I think I was expecting a bit more from the movie, but what more can bank robbers do anyway.. he's showing some serious abs in the movie though. not in a very sexy or provoking way, more subtle I'd say. anywho, that's that.. ohh I almost forgot, John Hamm was extra cuter than his normal self.  Oh and guess who was the surprise breakout star? none other than serena vanderwoodsen/blake lively. and yes gg is my guilty pleasure.. all fluff!

and then, the almost non-existent facebooker goes to see the social network.  I was pleasantly surprised when I walked out of the theatre after this one, because I was expecting worse/not as good, except for the annoying bratty thirteen year olds who were sitting two rows behind..  I liked the actor who played Mark, he was actually good, made the role even more interesting, smart, and witty.  JT was hilarious, with his over confidence, but he did justice.. The movie's been getting rave reviews.. i mean I think they did a good job. they meaning the people who made the movie! see, 'they' didn't paint a completely ugly picture of zuckerberg, neither did they make him angelic.  most or all of the facts are true in the movie, except for the scenes of fiction (am I even making sense?).. gah I don't want to ruin it for others. anyway, all you facebookaholics out there, go see it! make the sucker more money.. he made it just for you guys!

Weekend in a Nutshell

weekends I find, are interesting... more often that not I'm left with nothing to do but watch movies and read or stumble upon adventures of unplannedness.  Other times, I have these somewhat planned more eventful ones, which gives me a funked up Monday thinking wtf did I do this weekend. The last one;

• Awesome Friday night, hanging out with a friend, discovering a new restaurant in an old town.
• Experimenting new things
• A drive home in the wee hours; calm and quiet enough highway, all to myself, with a mind of my own
• Gifts of Champagne and cake for a birthday in the sin city; wish I saw the moment, the face
• that, ladies and gentlemen is how you make someone feel special
• myself and the mall, expensive addictions and predictable past times
• new boots (face palm), meh jeans, and yoga mats
• afternoon naps, Toy Story 3, and chat with besty
• showing up in sweats for lunch at family to find out they were having company over, and it was a full blown lunch event. Thanks for the memo!
• Arguments for the love of Mahinda (no thank you), with some blindly faithful family (i'm embarrassed). Left me Sunday evening with a pissy mood.
• Listening to mom ranting through skype, while I dress for work.
• To find out on Monday morning that my friend's r6 just got stolen.
• at least the recreation awaits

Have a good week!

 image credit: http://www.toothpastefordinner.com

Please and Thank You

Dear mom,

Please stop sending me advertisements of boys, their facebook profiles, or their horoscopes.  I'm not even remotely interested in any of them, and doesn't look like I will be at this point or ever.  Jumping in to the meat packing district is not going to help me right now.  I know you want the best for me and you have the best of intentions.  But please try to understand I'm stuck in two worlds and two cultures and let me figure this out, perhaps on my own.. and may be, just may be I may choose to live a life that that's not so Sri Lankan and I hope you respect that.  I'm utterly sick of having to please everyone around me.

Thank you. and I love you!

~me.

to ponder

Remember..

Every moment you've been happy
was never caused by anyone
but you..

- b.c. on 09/17/2010

wasted tears

too many tears
over you
over us
don't make me
start them all over again
holding on to the
last frail thread
may be, just may be
I don't see yet
that..
it's not worth it

spent all my time waiting

a call, a text
why did you?
make me feel special
when i'm trying hard
to forget you
to leave the memories behind
like you did ..
or i thought you did..
didn't you?

Chopped

off 8" of my long locks last Saturday.  one of the craziest things I've done to meself or rather have sean (the bestest hairdresser everr!) do on my hair.

It could be partially self pity and welcoming/unwelcoming the big changes in life, but mostly to remember the best granma in the world, who died of Leukemia, twelve years this October.. the lengths are for the cancer society for a wig. Luckily or unluckily she didn't have to undergo chemo, but there's millions who do, and I sincerely hope that someone would benefit from it, and feel good. Today, it was stamped and addressed to the cancer society, in a ziploc and securely sealed in a bubble wrapped envelope.  Kinda creepy feeling, carrying it around my bag.

dad, who likes it longer, didn't take it so well, but mom made him understand. all of this through skype makes is far more easier.  best friend who didn't know what it was all about initially "eek-ed" the new do, but then I had to pour the reasoning in to that brain too. I can feel that mom doesn't like it either, but meh!  it's not like it's a pixie cut, it's more of a classic long bob. I think it looks alright, big change. but good change. just a lot of getting used to since I personally have never seen my hair this short ever. feels so light.. I thought I'd cry before/during/after.  Didn't shed a single tear, to my surprise..

to change!

Rome

I remember the many times all of us friends would make plans and go see the Shakespeare drama competitions thrown by the high schools. it was always a fun day at the wendt to first see the audition rounds and then finding out who's slid to the finals.. and not to mention meeting up and chatting with many of our 'crushes' lol. oh the high school times!!! I wanna be 16 again.

so what I was trying to get at is, apart from all the flirting and mischief, I loved watching the actual dramas.  Quite competitive in their own way, and creative nonetheless.  Julius Caeser i must say was my favourite out of the dramas especially since I love the whole ancient roman, egypt and greek godness going on.. anthony and cleopatra, and mind you the asterix comic books (ya hah!), had me interested in JC.

recently a good friend recommended I watch the tv series Rome, that was aired in 2005-2007 ish. man is it ever good.  The story pretty much revolves around two Roman soldiers in the Roman Republic/JC's time, and closely related to the Julii.. they have spent so much time on the tiniest and most intricate details.. but it's a really good show if you are interested in that stuff. it seems like a huge production where they've spent oodles of money on the sets and costumes and what not. it's a shame that they had to let go of it after two seasons.  perhaps spent too much money! 

mirage

thrown in to the dark..

deserted I am

to take

small steps
towards the crystal clears
I see at the end

or is it yet again
a mirage..

a mirage in my not so perfect iris

Alexander the Plus One

the brain child in the "crazy bitch's" lab is quite sexy and cute.. not in a brad pitt kind of way, but more of a ashton kutcher type.  tin tin like hair, inquisitive eyes, and a cute/flirty smile.  tall, dark (not so much - no tan though :/), and handsome he is, and with the brains it's even sexier.

few times a week I see him in the hallway yapping about in all his cuteness, and he usually comes to see me for work related matters (eek!)..  anywho, in a recent chitter chatter:

him: heeyyy how are you?
me:  oh good thanks.  how was your weekend? (almost blushing, pretending not to)
him: it was alright. not very eventful, just went for a wedding. how was yours?
me: ahh that's eventful. your friend's?
him: nah, I didn't really know them.  I was just the PLUS ONE.

aiyoo! he's a plus one. so he's got one to be plus one with. gosh darn it!

sigh...

dawn breaks

another day

another morning

saying hello

didn't mean to though

she won't again

when the purpose has gone

discover the playah!

during my rare travels in the train, I listen to music that's been put in to the ipod by my roomie. thank you! and today was one of those rare travel days, fortunately.

after Blower's Daughter by Damien Rice (awesome song) came 'atheethaya sihinayak pamanayi' by K. Divulgane.  I was surprised myself to know that song existed inside my barely used music player thing. and it was such a pleasant surprise.  that song is sick! it's dead on, and couldn't have listened to it at a better time. such a beautiful song, is written by a thero, and long time ago I heard that it's all about buddhism and the teachings of buddha.  Whilst the out-of-this-world melody blasting in my ears, I was trying to fathom the lyrics there for a second.  and yeah it all makes sense according to dhamma teachings.. irrespective of that, it's one of my new found favs.

*hums the song and goes in to emo funk.

lands of time

the land we longed to see

the land I wanted you to see

still awaits you..

with open arms..

when would you ever

see through my eyes

will there ever be a day..

no more.

No one...

should cry on their birthday..

i'm no one..

I &hearts Gift Cards

whilst trying to cool off on a hot summer day in the mall pretending to window shop.. I ended up with not one but two dresses from H&M..

no damage to the wallet, no single cent spent..

Gift cards FTW!!! woot woot!

Shutters and Ghosts

Apparently shutter island was a high grossing movie. what was I doing when it was on theaters. sucking my thumb or just plain scared to even watch the trailer to see what the movie was about. that dvd cover sorta thing scared me out really! i'm a chicken shit, in case that wasn't apparent.  anywho, after watching Inception, I was recommended to watch the hottie's earlier flick, Shutter Island.. thanks to the gods and goddesses of the torrent-lands I saw it couple of weeks ago.  It was kinda scary at certain parts, but really wasn't all that pee in your pants scary.  and i loved it, i really did.  certain things were predictable, but others weren't (argh i know i'm making no sense - i just don't want this post to be a spoiler).  I highly recommend to anyone, who hasn't watched it. a good piece by scorsese.

on the other hand, more recently I watched the ghost writer.. which was literally about a ghost writer played by Ewen, hired to write an autobiography of a politician, Pierce. looovve Ewen and Pierce both.  But it was kind of a stupid movie. just wtf happened! seriously.  There was suspense all throughout the movie, but almost no bloodshed and violence, I mean I'm okay with that.. but almost no bloody story, or ending or climax.  Kim's british accent was hilarious, and painful to listen to. I googled afterwards to see if there was anything I didn't catch, but nah! it was just plain disappointment.  Polanski failed!

Parippu 101

recently my jap colleague who loves food (i mean who doesn't), or rather who likes to try and make new things was asking how to make parippu (or lentils or dhal or whatever pleases your tongue).  she had made lentil soup before, and had tried lentil curry from some indian recipe. but was saying it never comes out good (either too raw or too mushy), or it's different every time she makes it.  as brown as i may look, i guess she thought i should know how to tackle this simple curryness. aiyo!

Anyway I gave her my little version of parippu with coconut milk, obviously she didn't have lankan curry powder stuff, i guess she substituted it with some thai/malaysian curry powder.. she made it and gave me a little to taste during lunch at work.  and voila! it was actually really good, and could've been passed as an everyday sri lankan parippu curry.  She has actually gone ahead and done the whole frying the onions and garlic thing, which I don't do, now that I like to use less fat when cooking :P (healthy choices meya)

ahh I'm so glad her parippu was a hit!

vain

cry..
cry all you want
til the dawn breaks
that's all you wanted

drops of you
on my window pane
I see he's beaming again
running away you are
as did he..

I like the cynical you

he said...

thank you my dear boy, I try!

Sciatica-ness

This year I tell you has been the worst when it comes to my health.  I've probably taken more sick days this year than I have in the whole of my life.  quite frustrating if you think about it!

so I had my little vacation, did quite a bit of walking at the site seeing destinations, and to top it off I was behind the wheels all the way through.  I mean that was fine, until I started to get this pain behind my bum, and almost running down my hamstrings, and then all the way through to my toes.  I didn't really care for it at the time, thinking that my skinny legs were just tired of all the walking and driving in the scorching humidity.

I return, and get back to my normal routine, the bum/leg soreness didn't seem to be going away.  A visit and two to the doctor was due at this time, coz I was in major pain in the ass! (literally).  After few very embarassing x-rays to make sure that nothing else is effed up in there, doctor diagnosed that I have Sciatica - i.e. my Sciatic nerve is being compressed for some stupid reason.

Sitting at work aggravates it quite a bit, but I can't not come to work and lie in bed every day either. so i walk around at work lots to relieve the pain. the doctor said this will be temporary in my age, but who knows. I'm worried, and I dont want to live with this annoying pain for the rest of my life.. I'm onto some drug, which is really not helping and i'm contemplating on stopping it.. also more money spent on this physiotherapist girl - at least she's nice and chatty, not the awkward silent type.

I'm also thinking of taking up Yoga.  Many recommend that it might actually help my back problems as well as the Sciatica, which is sort of an extension of the back trouble.

well.. we'll see how that goes.. sigh!

Destination Sensation

while I was away..

in pictures...

titanic moments..

with the fishies

marketplace

from afar

crystal blues - those pictures I saw as a kid were REAL

colors of the beach

say no more

isso - yummo!

another titanic moment...

breakfast table

Everything was surreal.  I just want to go back.. crystal blue waters.. white sandy beaches.. food.. shopping.. and the never ending sea..

in the lonely hours

lifeless I am

hearltess you are

times have changed

tables have turned

why this much pain

would it ever pass?

Nightmares of Wisdom

So I went to the dentist with a very positive and might I say brave face about two weeks ago.. came out all swollen, bloody, and numb.  Drugged myself out with the antibiotics and painkillers (which made me throw up the next day - and made me switch to regular ibuprofen type thing).  Just when I thought I was healing fine, and getting back to normal - the crazy pains started.  It was i'm telling you, was the mother of all pains. I thought I was going to die with the pain, as a matter of fact I wished I died..

so they figured I have "dry sockets" in both my lower sockets where they took out the stubborn wisdom teeth, and had to put some clove oil type packs.. apparently my stupid clot had disintegrated and gone missing, leaving an empty socket and the naked bone behind with its lonesome self and the deathly nerve..! arghhh the pain!

anyway, a few trips to the dentist, and few pack-re-pack business.. I'm on to some longer lasting dissolving pack right now - still with very bearable pain. Hopefully getting back to my normal self, and eating regular people food, as opposed to Mush.

All packed, and ready to go.. sun, sand, sea, and beaches!

worlds of talent

This isn't a show I watch at all.  But the morning radio show I listen to while driving, was talking about it, and so was the afternoon show.. which made me come home and have a look-see on youtube..




She is in fact the 'precious' star's mother, but this woman has been singing at the NY subway station for two decades. such amazing talent.. it's crazy how all this talent in the world is hidden under rocks.. with many not seeing light at all. when people like this dumb blond is out there milking it.. with what talent?

Tooth Fairy of Wisdom

soo.. it's that time of my life, that I keep getting more and more wisdom.. or the lack of.. thanks to the tooth fairy.  Since about two weeks ago one of my supposedly wisdom teeth started giving me nightmares, and kept me up at night.. I couldn't function without being completely drugged.  After a visit to the dentist and another to the specialist, I'm now scheduled to take all four of my wisdom teeth pulled out.  hence all my wisdom will be gone, if I had any..

so the kind of sexy specialist dentist says.. "top two are umm routine extractions, they won't even hurt you as much once the freezing wears off.." but argh the bottom ones.. will hurt baby it will hurt he says.  I might swell like a chipmunk.  I'm shitting bricks here.. scared.. scared shitless. I've never been put out before, for anything, and neither have I had any type of surgery. I really hope the wounds heal and I don't get any whatchamacallit 'dry sockets' and get better soon.. I'm already prescribed with after surgery pain killer and antibiotic type things, and may be I should hit the market and stock up on some pudding and yogurt for post-surgery meals.

ugh I'm literally having nightmares about this..

sanity

weekends past

memories made

euphoric some

confusion prevails

wherever it takes me,

I seek sanity in you

Flat on my ass

after a real cold spell we had a really really good weekend, that requires no outer-wear during the day..

nice enough weekend.. sun was almost scorching, not as much as it used to be during the past few weeks in sri lanka. but it was hot enough to go to the beach.  off we pack with a change of clothes, towels, and skim board.. go to the beach. and pretty much the only thing I had in mind was to sit there relax..soak all the sun in.. have a drink, eat in the patio on the strip.. and come back home, may be with some gelato..

the other half wanted to Skim board in the puddles.. and luckily the tide was out, and there was perfect puddles for skim-boarding. sure enough we go to the water, i just sat in the sand enjoying and worshiping the sun god.  the other one was skim-boarding.. kind of!  forcing me to come and 'try' this sport I've never done, and only heard about it not too long ago.  so it looked fun, the water was only up to your calf may be, if not less.  even though I didn't prepare for any water action, i.e. no bathing suit... i thought, sure I'll give it a try.  tried couple of times, didn't seem to be getting the hang of it, and sure I kept on trying.. thinking I'll succeed at last :P.. alas.. the only thing i successfully accomplished was falling flat on my bum.  in slow motion, I threw the skim board to the water/puddle, and tried to jump on it to kind of surf/skim on the water.. off I go with a "thud".. flat on my ass!  Just like I would on the ice i.e. second day of snow..



long story short..

after several rubs, sprays, and a doctor's appointment later.. I'm not broken, tail bone's intact.. severe pain killers, anti-inflammatory type medication after meals.. still walking with a limp.

Remember Me?

No this isn't anything related to the new movie which the Toilet actor starred in.  Well, really I do not know if it's related at all, since I haven't watched the movie.. (yet).  'Remember me' that is.

anyway, the other day whilst browsing through the isles in the small library close by, I came across another Sophie Kinsella book.  The author of the shopaholic series.  Yes they sound lame to the eye of the lit wankers, but it's an easy read on a sunny day.. relaxes your mind.. it's not my ideal book either.. but you don't need a dictionary to know the meaning of every second word.  I decided to borrow the book and quite frankly I liked it.

I do not think I've read any of the shopaholic books, but have watched the chick flick with borat's wife in it. anyhow, this book "Remember Me?" was about this girl who was a newbie sales agent, who's climbed the social and career ladder to the top within too few years, has lost her memory of about 3 years due to a car accident... and soon she realizes how much of her 'life as she knew it' has changed within the past three years, since now she remembers zilch.  whilst reading, I was thinking, this is exactly what I need. I want to know the future tense of my life, without having to really live it... and to walk every step of the way..

how I wish, if I could just close my eyes, and wake up in a few years.. when all of this, will look like a passing (passed?) cloud.. dream in to reality~

Falling a thousand feet per second

Perfect - by Hedley




One of my favourites.. on the drive to work.. gives me tears.. every time..

Open Marriage

Polyamory looks to be the new trend on the market of relationships.. few weeks ago I stumbled upon this, and thought it was quite interesting, especially how these are related to a specific age group and such.

This week's episode of House, also had a take on the same subject.

Didn't know that this many people are unhappy along the path of their married life. I guess most of them do it, but without the knowledge of their partner.. i.e. cheating~
but this way it's out in the open, nicely laid out on the table..

seems unrealistic?!?! .. must be healthy, if it's on the rise.

lankawenda?

I was attending this sri lankan dinner event couple of weeks ago at one of the lankan family residences. They were obviously very nice people, given that we were invited for the dinner only after a brief meeting at a grocery store. how sweet! anyhow, we arrive on time, kind of, and after the usual awkward greetings.. we set to the usual chitter chatter and getting to know the people and feeling comfortable etc. the reason for blogging wasn't any of that, but just a conversation that came about..

the lady of the house was explaining an encounter that her daughter had couple days ago at this department store. So apparently the daughter, who's pretty fluent in sinhalese, heard another family speaking in sinhalese, and thought she should go up to them and talk. Even though there's a big enough community here, it's very unlikely that you see lankans randomly on an every day basis. So she walks up to them with a welcoming smile and goes "auntie lankawenda?" It's quite obvious they are lankan since they were speaking in sinhalese =s, but for a conversation starter yea sure.. so the dumb founded woman being questioned goes.. "oh no no we are from India"..

wtf?!?! You understood the question to answer to it.. yet too ashamed to admit that you are from where you are.. or just too snobbish and don't want to get to know another one of your kind..

oh dear.. the people from the land like no other..

lives entangled... II

they meet at a party. introduced by friends. she falls in love with his guitar and the strings. she flies off to a no man's land and all she thinks about was the guitar and the hands. he was a skunk, she seize to realize. the true colors don't come out when you are oceans apart. friends try to make her see the truth, and get some sense in her heaed.. she deserves better. love again makes you blind. blind as a bat.

he calls her fat, and ugly too. she wails and cries to the friend so close... still blind.. and may be deaf too. was it mentioned, he was a skunk? sends him money, gifts galore.. many by request.. a guy asking for gifts? and says i'll marry you if I don't find anyone else next year.. who says that?! really!

she thinks she can't and won't find another.. another man to be with. come next year, he hasn't 'found' another girl, unfortunately for her. and yet again, hidden agendas of jumping shore.. they get hitched.. beautiful wedding, and the works.

here's wishing a happily ever after..

p.s. he still is a douchebag..

broken

she's frail.. she's brittle..

fragile too..

she cries out loud..

dried tears and weak sobs..

still fogged outa mind..

feeling eternally clueless.

calling

glasses shatter

window panes too

to open my eyes to clear blue skies

or sleep forever with a peaceful mind...

lives entangled

He has it all. A good job - safe, secure, good pay. Fancy enough car - fancier than most, house, a family that cares. Plays for a good league in the kingdom.. and is living the life. then he meets her.. a med student from a former soviet union country, jumps to the kingdom for the summer cash. takes him for a ride.. literally a ride. he thought he had it all.. the life, and the hottie on his arm.. hopes of wanting his fairy tale. her intentions weren't the same. she took it all in.. and nothing in return. dumped him to chew the last bits.. left him in the dump, and found her happily ever after with a kiwi.

time healed the wounds, he found another... hoping for another perfect story? she too looked perfect, sounded perfect.. but a slimeball.. belonged to another man - literally. but now she was carrying His child. he sits and thinks, why god why me.. i have faith in you. but why do you punish me this way. he thought he'd give up on love.. the only thing he was missing.. that kicks him in the gut everytime he thinks he got it in the bag.

fuck it all, says yes to a paper ad... yet again another woman with hidden intentions of jumping ship to the kingdom. blinded by all the crap he went through, and for the wrong reasons, he gets hitched. with no friends by his side.. feeling like a stranger in a foreign land, but a fairy tale looking wedding... brings the new bride home. time, yet again fooled him.. and the wrong reasons faded away.. true colors pop out. he started hating his life.. couldn't live the lie anymore.. moves out.. divorced parents taught him the consequences earlier on.. and vowed not to ever think of that option in his life. but now.. that looks to be the only one available, to let him live his life..

---

I thought i was in a rut.. but love always seems, and never fails to take you down with it.. when it falls out.

with love,
cf.

fogged

fogged beyond belief..

couldn't see two steps ahead

wishing it can be fast forwarded..

or rewound perhaps?

skip this phase all together..

a far cry

a lot of the people I grew up with including me.. we live far far away from home.. all over the world, across continents. Haven't seen each other for god knows how long and a random hi/hello on messenger or facebook is all there is. or better yet the happy birthday wishes on facebook, that too is thanks to the auto reminder application.. anywhoo, it shows we are there, alive and well.. and we still care..

everyone including myself, is always grumbly and nostalgic about leaving sri lanka and only going there for few weeks a year, that too if you are lucky.. and how we miss the food, the sandy beach, the hot weather.. and everything that we leave behind.

this got me thinking, that yearning we have, that longing to go to the land we can say we truly belong.. what is it.. do we only say it because we know we have an alternative? because we know that no matter how short/long the vacation is, we'll go back to the western world at the end.. that we almost call home now? only coz there's no abundance of pilawoos kottu around the big cities we live in? I question myself, what would I have felt if I had no other option but was in sri lanka, and didn't know the difference of being away.. would I be sitting at home thinking why am I here? or would I be a happy poppy..

now I'm far from home.. counting days to go back..

sitting here thinking wtf am I doing here..

with a little in mind

at night as i switch off the lights and decide to close my eyes in the hopes of sleep, only then thoughts come pouring to my mind with endless words to write..

then i'm too lazy to start writing or typing rather. come morning all's gone...

looks sterile, but is it clean. i think not.. makes it harder to put my thoughts in to words..

may be i should just shake it off in the wee hours and garbage the thoughts of waking up in the morning in time to work, and write whatever runs through my head..

one day, i'll look back to see this is what ran through my head.. long long time ago..

waiting game

this end of the stick
endlessly chewy
light at the end
seems way too far
if at all

it's all a waiting game.. is it..

from your lips she drew...

the hallelujah...

saved many from week to week. loved Jason Castro's dreamy version. and Tim`s version this year wasn't too shabby either.

that song is quite a mind fuck for me, and leaves me funked up every time i listen to it.. nostalgia.. memories.. every single time. and ended up forcing me to stop watching my weekly tv shows and blog something. my Friday night babies..

Leonard Cohen, what were you thinking when you were writing the song..

brilliant.. just brilliant..

the feng shui-ness

i had some family over during the last couple of weeks staying at my place until they get settled and what not. they aren't my immediate family, but very close and i was more than happy to play host, even though i barely walked to the kitchen during their stay.. may be just to make my morning tea, and that was it. courtesy of auntie i got all meals covered, including work lunch. yummy sri lankan food.

it's only when you live with people for a little while you realize how different they do things around the house, their customs.. ways of living etc etc. even though you are pretty much from the same family. so, i took them to a furniture store to purchase beds for them, they pick one, checked prices etc. all happy and okay move on to picking mattresses.. and oh all of a sudden that bed is no good. me being me who can't keep my mouth shut, as if it's my money, had to ask why the change of mind. apparently that bed has wooden pieces that are vertical on the headboard?!? and it's a big 'no no' according to feng shui? wtf? are you for real.. roomie and I looked at each other, smirked, giggled, exchanged our own little expressions, and move on sure whatever.. so we are back to square one. but somehow managed to leave the store with some success.

I honestly do not have anything against people who follow whatever floats their boat.. but dude you shouldn't close your washroom door because feng shui says so? ayyoo.. now I wasn't joking about that one either.

I'm yet to find out what this is, pardon my ignorance.. may be it brings positive things to your life.. i wish, just may be! off I go googling away my new found feng shui..

spam-a-lot

so apparently this looks to be quite common around here.. I get random spammy comments on almost every blog post. It's getting annoying, and rather time consuming to delete and then delete forever? jeezz.. about viagra and acai berry pills and how good your writing's become?!?!.. what the hell is that?

grump!

and oh yeah, many of my msn chat contacts have stupidly or willingly clicked on those random spam virus bs, and every time they log on I get those too. Annoooyyiiinnnnggg! how silly can you be to click on 'check this acai berry pill to get thin, or I saw your naked pictures ohh la la, oh my panties are in a bunch, come fix them' wooott??..

way too click happy for my taste..

and so it is..

i dreamt of you
weird it felt..
it's been years
but feels decades

i yearn for you
and ache for you

what used to be hot and sunny
warm and sandy..
now cold and windy..

through all this.. the thought of you make me smile..

of the Accents

I've been living in this land for approximately a third of my life. I think I grew up to be who I am now, in this country, and because of these sorroundings.. people.. environment.. and the rest. things are done differently here than I was used to. yes I did have somewhat of a culture shock when I first came, but soon enough I got used to it.. lived through it.. and felt a belonging.. as anything, every country has their own way of speech, or the accent I might say.

After all this time, is it abnormal to now have a different accent than sri lanka? after three and a half years i went home (yes I still call sri lanka home) for a vacation, and I honestly tried to talk like I used to. to take the accent back and talk like all my friends. I can't anymore. people would comment 'boy, do you have a thick accent'. I would politely smile and say Yes I do, and just ignore the looks I got.. i know what they must be thinking. look at this kalu sudda girl trying to be all this. I mean what else can I say. yes I have an accent, do you have a problem.. just deal with it.. it's how I got used to speaking here, and when you go about your life speaking to people in this country its a given that one would speak the way you hear it..

should I justify myself? I don't think so. Do I justify myself? I still try..

sigh..

darn it i'm not putting it on.. nor faking it.. and i definitely don't have a polkatu accent when I talk in Sinhalese.. so sit on it and rotate!

whisperings

you sweep me off my feet
yet drop me dead on gravel
why at times I ask myself
is there an answer
I wonder

yet again you do the same
it hurts.. it hurts a lot..

how hard can it be
to make it work
is there an answer
I wonder

Avataraya

Few weeks too late, I know. But finally, I went to see Avatar on 3D.

I wasn't too thrilled to or wasn't really looking forward to, but I sort of had to by default to check out what all this hype was about. I'm not a big fan of sci-fi and don't really spend money on movie tickets nor time on downloading any sorta sci-fi movie, but this just had a crazy hype. I guess it was Mr. Cameron after all.

There was no choice of regular or 3D, they were all done with their non-3D show times, so yet again forced to pay more (for the styling 3D glasses) and may be a 3d headache.. off I went with a colleague to watch the blue men and the hunky sam.

Surprisingly (yet again could be a JC trick) it was good! I mean Okay.. I can see why all the sci-fi fans are all over avatar, breaking all the blockbuster records and making millions (not to mention that the prices of tickets are more expensive nowadays). The Na'vi s or the blue people looked so real - I guess they 'were' real in the movie. the emotions of the blues were depicted well I thought. the plot was whatever. quite predictable, and was more suitable for a hindi movie (according to my long time long lost friend - whom I agree with btw).

to re-iterate it was the JC effect, and glorified to the himalayas.. i wonder if it was worth that hype hmmm... Sam Worthington was Hot!

I Quit

I thought I could.. started a bit of grad school.. I mean work wasn't all that busy, getting the hang of it and I thought I could commit the extra time I have on my hands lately, and I was super book happy etc. everything was very online and meetings were very minimal so what the heck I started..

a month and a half in to it, and there you have it.. all the life's unexpected surprises for you. First of all, it was way too much work for what I get at the end. You honestly have no life whatsoever, and have to completely commit your life outside of work to boring reading material and more the kinds that you dreaded when you were an undergrad. Then I get a call, I'll have to commit the next couple months of my life to family.. with them leaving their regular habitats and migrating along this way.. which one may not take in to account, but a shit load of responsibility on my little shoulders.. and thennn... matters of the heart.. and food.. and sleep.. and work got busier.. and I QUIT! yes I quit.. :(.. i quit school. Not the happiest right now. But I guess i didn't have a choice? :/ I know I'm trying to justify it, but the stress level wasn't helping.. with the million canker sores, the gastritis etc. etc.

I'm just a ball of stress!

Sleeping in? or not!

now I, can't sleep in! even on weekends, I either set the alarm (for like 8.30) or just always wakes up around that time. yea yea it's a little longer than my usual wake-up-and-drag-yourself-to-work alarm... but, i wish, i sometimes just wish that I too could sleep like my used to be roomies who slept 'til the noon hits or even later..

since work came along, the weekends always brings that erie feeling of, what am I going to do today. especially with the cold November rains, and winter blues.. either you dont have anything to do, or just don't feel like doing anything at all. sometimes it just hits you hard with wtf are you doing with your life? yea yea you've accomplished the usual shit, but where on earth is it going though you know.. argh yet to figure out.. that probably will be a whole another post or two if I really figure out what I wanna do that is..

world is here...

downtown was stupid busy.. haven't seen this many people ever in this city..

feels festive.. nevertheless..

listening to bunch of guys playing poker.. drunk..

memories galore.. running through my head.. clean mean machine..

happy v-day.. dinner and a movie? possibly..

my first Rodeo

Is there any better way to spend your Saturday night?

The boy friend, had bought me a ticket to go see the Saturday night professional bull riding championships. I didn't know such thing existed in this area.. and never been to a bull riding event ever. TV was the channel I knew about them and I was pretty skeptical when he said that I'm going (yes I was forced to go with them) for this thing on Saturday...

One of the guys who'd gone the day before was grumbling that it was boring, so he was a mood killer, and I almost wanted to stay home but reading my text book looked way more boring! and this was the day of the 'finals' apparently., and it was indoors (in the middle of a winter) so off I went to this thing with a bunch of guys..

as a matter of fact I should say it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. great seats! It was quite entertaining. I've got to say the bull riders (the hunky cowboys!) are extremely brave to get on that bull who looks like it's on some kind of steroids.. I would piss my pants to even go close..

unfortunately didn't have a camera.. but I'm so glad I went to check out what it's like. I thoroughly enjoyed it even though I had no clue of how they were judged, or where these people were from etc..


thank you google images

No Purple Pinky

everyone has a purple pinky, or at least have pictures up with a purple pinky. I've never had one.. never ever.. wahhh!

I was registered (at least I hope), and I believe received the chanda card by mail, but I don't live there. argh I forgot that I could've done a postal vote thing when I was vacationing last month.

I know nothing about politics, and hate it with a passion. so i don't give a fuck. But, I gathered from my little visit last year that Mahinda looks to be the lesser idiot of the two. and I didn't know that there were 22 presidential candidates LOL. Thanks to the department of elections government website. I mean twenty two?!?! Who are we kidding.

Like always, the elections are a Joke!

It'll be interesting to see who wins..

Calling for a Siesta...

After lunch with the girls and the doctor of another kind, I was feeling quite sleepy. you know, I wish we had a siesta time like some of the south American countries do. there's absolutely nothing I did today that couldn't have been done from home. argh how I wish I could just call it a 'work from home day'.. unlucky enough we don't have such days!

today I realized how much time I have at work that I actually do nothing. the boredom hit me so hard I was almost falling asleep. just some days i wish i had a modified work week then i can finish it up and go home, and may be do something better? if there's anything else!

i guess i can't complaint.. meh!

Two week getaway

The trip was might I say Fabulous! especially an escape from the cold winter for two weeks felt like heaven.. but dude was it HOT.. and yeah because i was going from the single digits to the upper twenties within twenty four hours.

anywhoo... was great seeing my family who I haven't seen for over three years, and friends.. whoever's left in sri lanka and the ones visiting for Christmas. I should say, Christmas/new years was a real good time if you wanted to do a reunion or whatever.. all the birds looks to be flying homewards during that time. I was amazed by how many random meet-ups I could fit in with my 'global' friends..

inflation rate in sri lanka has gone to dogs i say! i can't believe how groceries, clothes, transportation, or rather everything has become so bloody expensive. How do people afford to live? When I was planning my trip I thought I would shop my socks off and get great deals, save lots on clothes.. ahh nah! that wasn't the case. the savings weren't by much if at all. people complaint how stuff is so expensive, but odel and the usual shopping places were packed.. i guess it was Christmas! I was just amazed at how cash flew out of my wallet in a matter of couple hours.

what's with everyone running to coffee shops to spend rs.400 for a coffee. So a friend and I planned an evening together and we were too early for dinner.. his sister had recommended one coffee bean, and off we go to "hang out" for couple hours before we went ahead with dinner plans. I paid rs800 (including tax) for two lattes and I swear i can buy two lattes at Starbucks or in another coffee shop in this city for the same price! mind you, the minimum wage here is $8 something an hour. how do people in sri lanka afford all this!?!?! but I mean it's a good thing that there are several 'hang out' places like that in sri lanka that the young-ens could just chill, and don't necessarily have to have a meal with friends..

All in all I had lots of fun. caught up with at least a few. hope to plan another trip this year.. may be!