Dear mom,
Please stop sending me advertisements of boys, their facebook profiles, or their horoscopes. I'm not even remotely interested in any of them, and doesn't look like I will be at this point or ever. Jumping in to the meat packing district is not going to help me right now. I know you want the best for me and you have the best of intentions. But please try to understand I'm stuck in two worlds and two cultures and let me figure this out, perhaps on my own.. and may be, just may be I may choose to live a life that that's not so Sri Lankan and I hope you respect that. I'm utterly sick of having to please everyone around me.
Thank you. and I love you!
~me.
All the best.
ReplyDeleteMy wife always talks about the two culture thing.
Sri Lankan parents send their kids out to study and then expect them to follow the traditional way of life when it comes to finding a partner or marriage. I think it is better for parents to let kids find there own partners. This might be a bit taboo but they (parents) have to open up to that idea. To quote Kahlil Gibran .. "our children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you, And though they are with you yet they belong not to you ..."
Be yourself .. you need not please anyone. You need to know what is good for you. Don't delay in finding that right one though.
Oh man, it doesn't get any better even if you never left the country. I just can't get my head around the idea of proposals, even though technically I shouldn't be so fussy. But am hoping the time will come when I can present them with a nice boy and say 'ha! see I found this gem all by myself!'.Fingers crossed :-)
ReplyDeleteIt must be hard being our parents too, think we just need to accept our differences and be positive. I dunno really. But it gets v. frustrating at times.
I dont even have to leave to the country, never have, everytime i get ma hair braided or even grow my damm beard, mom starts throwing a fit!! less we certainly do have to live in two cultures.. sucks!!
ReplyDeleteHope you & parents come to terms about your life.. and not theirs... :)
anon: thanks for the comment and the quote. I too wish that they (especially mom) realize that she doesn't own me, and not take me on guilt trips. and yes many say I don't need to please anyone, but every time I just feel that I have an obligation, or I'm letting them down. oh well!
ReplyDeleteseesaw: I wouldn't know what the circumstances be if I never left. May be I would never come to think the way I think now..or I would've already be married with kids (cringe). and yes I totally feel for my parents, but it's my life. I wonder if we will ever start thinking like them years from now.. and hey I'm sure you'll find the gem, lanka got plenty gems haha.
lost soul: oh dear! I feel for you. and I hope they do come to terms haha. I've sorta told them to back off a little bit.
Rightly said Lost Soul... Sometimes parents want us to be the best thing we could be but when it comes to things like this they drag us back to stone age. I guess it's still hard for them to treat us like adults or single unique individuals.
ReplyDeleteHope things get better... Hang in there!
I can understand what you're going through, being stuck in two cultures is hard enough to figure out on your own - it's worse when parents just aren't happy with the choices we make.
ReplyDeleteOnce they now they can't change the way you think they will back off, it'll just take some time.
Hope you're feeling better :)